So. Miss Marriage Is Antiquated & I Refuse to Settle Down With One Person for the Rest of My F%&*ing Life is getting married.
And that Miss Thang would be yours truly, of course.

Well, damn.

This is going to turn into an inspiration and stuff-what-I-likes blog for a bit. Lotsa pix. Lotsa girly.
I wish my brain hadn't gone so retarded almost immediately.
Damnit.
Look, Juniper! It's pretty. I like it. Mmmm, pretty berries. Nice colour.

Oh, and look! Some peely white birch. It's nice. Once I saw some candles that appeared to wrapped in this stuff. It was okay, kind of creepy. Nice bark. Might be nice to use...grab some branches and glitter the fuck out of them (winter wedding, I hopes). Maybe some silver, with eucalyptus...dude, I don't know. I live in the Pacific NorthWest, and Mr. Man Wife To Be is a big ol' mountain man from the Rockies, so I suppose something woodsy would be appropriate. Who knows, maybe that way we could get Sasquatch to come. And by Sasquatch, I mean my cousins who live in Anchorage, Alaska.
The lure of beer alone will have all of my couch surfing friends indignant and pawing at the door.
Bleh. Let's leave them off the guest list, shall we? I went to my ex-girlfriend's wedding and acted as bridesmaid a while ago....while her wedding was lovely (what I can, er, remember of it), the horrendous bit was that she had her sweet and well-behaved family present, and then also invited our Beer Pig Friends from off the mountain. With an open bar and piggie roast. Biiiiiiig Mistake. I've never seen so many horrified family members at one time, nor so many drunken snowboarders eating pig brains. Ugh. Pass, thx.



Is it wrong that I am totally in love with centerpieces? Like these?
It's a little sick, isn't it. Yes, yes I know.
I wonder what it is that happens when someone as supposedly anti-marriage and all that bs as I've been ends up planning a wedding. Or even getting married, ferfuckssake. That is kind of really scary. My brain has betrayed me! Now I'm all "Aw, I want to bake him cookies and have like a million of his little slavic babies!!!" (btw, Lithuanian men = teh hotness. for serious. think Mikhail Barishnikov with those smoldery eyes and lithe little...arrrg. Yum).





This salmon (cedar plank with rosemary and citrus) makes me salivate uncontrollably. If anyone else doesn't want any, they can fucking eat saltines for all I care. This shit here....is tits. Well not really, but it's almost as good. You get some hot garlic butter on this, and that's all you need. No fancy bechamels or wine sauces, no no no. If you are lucky enough to live somewhere that has a steady supply of still-flappin-around-fresh-fishy like I do....you are an idiot if you turn your nose up at it.
So. Salmon roastin it is. Maybe I'll throw some cordon bleu at them so they don't bitch. I don't know. It's just going to be our families, and I am thinking about doing a modest buffet just to keep people from fucking whining.


Orchids! On a cake! On a square Cake that has way too much frosting!! Wow, that's pretty. I'm going with orchids rather than roses. And most of those will be either silk or live...cut flowers creep me out a little. Ok, a good deal. And Mr MWTB loves them, so yay. His mum has these immense orchids at her house, some of the stalks are about as big around as my lil girly wrist! They're taller than Gooneybird, too, which is really quite impressive. So hopefully future mommy in law will like them. I don't know. She's kind of a funny one....very emotional and touchy feely but kind of in a giggly schoolgirl way, all full of naiveté. Strange lady. I wonder if she isn't a bit....off....
And hey, you can't blame me, her own son insists she hasn't been firmly rooted in reality since.......since......ummm, I'm not sure, really. Strange lady, but very sweet and obviously loves her son a lot. She is also quite enthralled with GB, and doesn't think I'm too bad, either. Meh.


OK, OK. I'll go to bed now. Just wait till I start with the dresses.
Jebus help us all.
Happy hols.