Growing up is a very, very strange thing. I mean, the odyssey that was toddlerhood to teenagerness was.....special. And really kind of mindblowing when you think of how many transformations and mental/physical overhauls a person undergoes in that short decade and a half.

But this "adulthood" thing. Wow.
I stop every so often and think that my earliest memories of my mom were of her at right about the same age (I'm 22....she was about 26 or 27), and it's weird to think how kind of similar we are...were...?.... It's strange to think of her back when she dyed her hair black and wore huge black sunglasses and punk-y t-shirts and was as pale as I am, especially now that I am a mommy who wears huge black sunglasses and punk-y t-shirts. You turn into your parents in more subtle ways than just how you yell at your kids, huh? Yep.
But.
My brain is kind of maybe maturing a bit. In the past few months, my brain has been catching up with the fact that a lot of my theories on the world and the way things work are.....not at all the same as a year ago. This wouldn't be so strange but for the fact that I'm a stubborn jackass and usually cling to these things until they're torn to bits, sent up in flames, pissed on, and finally tossed into a drainage ditch. Now...I'm okay with change, I may actually be even subconsciously seeking and accepting it rapidfire.
For instance.....I may not think that humans are built to be monogamous, but I do indeed believe in monogamy now. That's a big shift.
Another thing is that I really don't give a fuck what you believe, or what your politics are, or whatever. If you treat me as an intelligent human who is worthy of respect, I'll give you the same. No discraminating on that end anymore. I guess I finally reconciled the dichotomy of fighting bigotry with bigotry in my head with....just not giving a fuck.
I'm also starting to feel more and more and more like a mum. A mum who will be doing this on her own for quite some time (indefinitely, even), and I am more and more and more....pretty okay with that. I get more giddy now thinking about the house I want to buy and the projects I want to start on (like buying a Galaxie! and building a bike...mmmm, triumph....) than about settling down with somebody and doing all the same things. This is made a bit strange by the waves of guys lately who seemingly want to "rescue" me from the societal faux-pas of single motherhood. Oh, don't kid yourself, it's still a no-no. And while the former serial-monogamist in me is mildly intruigued, the rest of me is kind of laughing about it. Especially when they praise my strength/amazon-likeness/warrior attitude/etc while trying to get me to settle down and completely domesticate. That's funny.
Things I used to want....not all that long ago....just don't appeal.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this, really. It's just interesting to notice that my head's changing. Maybe the plethora of chums running to get married (which is pretty concerning) is making me ponder stuff. If my head's transforming so freaking quickly...like, on a near-weekly basis....how do these friends of mine know that this marriage thing is what they want to do? Or even, how do they sit there and say, "okay, I have no idea who I am, really. But I think I'll go out and bind myself to this other person for the rest of my life, regardless!". That seems so counter-intuitive to me. Might explain divorce rates.
Well, I blame the feminist revolution for that, actually.
Uh. Anyhow.
Coffee? Yeah....